NotebookishType

Dear Exchange Creator,

Thank you for offering one (or more) of the ships I requested! I'm very excited to see what you come up with!

I would love to read anything about any of these ships (of any rating). I'm aiming to give you an idea of what I find interesting about about each ship. Hopefully this letter is useful, but the prompts are entirely optional. If you have an idea I haven't mentioned that is compatible with my DNWs, go for it!

Ships are in alphabetical order by character last name.

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Successfully participating in Star Wars Rare Pairs and Chocolate Box has been a big deal for me, for a few reasons.

My Rare Pairs entry was the first piece I worked on after discovering I likely have un-diagnosed ADHD. This explains SO much about my writing history and hurdles.

I tried to participate in Chocolate Box Round 5, but had a very hard time with time management and ultimately had to default. I had a hard time with time management for these last two stories too, but having an idea of why was a measurable difference.

I did go into both assignments with the intent to include smut, but found I'm having a bit of trouble getting into the zone on that. My best guess is that my pandemic living situation is to thank for that. So on the one hand, it won't be forever, on the other hand it's a bummer because most things I plot out are smutty, including countless partial drafts I have tucked away.

Given the above, I am trying to decide if I should sign up for May the 4th or just hope to sprinkle some treats around...

Dear Exchange Creator,

I'm very excited to see what you come up with for me! So much so that I'm actually taking a stab at writing an exchange letter this time around.

My requests this year fall relatively neatly into three categories: Fennec Shand ships, Lando ships, and Shadows of the Empire Ships.

I have some very loose prompts for each pairing. None of these are mandatory, but hopefully give some insight into why I found the ship interesting enough to request. Also feel free to treat my likes the same way, as suggestions. If you have a thought that doesn't go against my DNWs that you think would work best, please explore that.

Any fic rating is fine. G/T rated fluff or pre-relationship flirtations can be just as fun as E rated smut, so please write within your comfort zone.

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My current WIP has me contemplating what is the right amount of lead up/plot for low plot smut. I feel there is some required setup, so I can't quite go full PWP. But I'm not entirely sure how to keep enough tension through the setup.

I usually read some similar stories, and/or read up on specific techniques, but I haven't figured out how to categorize this yet. Usually, the hardest part of writing smut for me is the actual smut, so this is an amusing issue to be having.

Since the Rare Pairs Exchange wound down I’ve been doing a lot of thinking. And as TLJ gets closer a lot of the things keeping me distracted from thinking about it have fallen away.

Star Wars has been much more than a passing fancy for me. Like many others, I was hooked from my first viewing. It’s funny too, knowing there are people that have been in this fandom just as long, or longer, or who also entered in the same stage of their lives, doesn’t exactly make me feel better? On the one hand, I feel like I have company, but on the other, I have to face that my feelings about Disney Canon are mine alone. And alone isn’t how you want to feel when you’re having a rough time.

My feelings on Disney Canon are so complicated. I guess I should try to unpack that.

I was always an avid reader, so when I found out there were Star Wars novels I devoured them. Most of them. I at least attempted all of them. It was so cool to me that almost immediately after seeing these films I could dive into years worth of content. Some of these books had comic adaptations, trading cards, video games. My experience of Star Wars opened up very quickly into more than just films, and we’re still talking pre-Prequels here. Suffice it to say Legends was always a big part of Star Wars to me. It still is.

So when Disney obtained Star Wars, well that was equal parts thrilling and terrifying. I learned very quickly that while I was surrounded by Star Wars fans at work, we all had very different opinions on what the right way to handle more Star Wars films would be. I was firmly in favor of the baton pass but was so naive I couldn’t believe that would come with the figurative or literal deaths of my heroes.

So, back around to this thinking. Obviously, there is no one cookie cutter fan. And I think that’s a good thing. I don’t think I have to personally like every creative choice made in the Disney canon. In fact, I would be surprised if I did. I didn’t like every creative choice made in Legends canon. And I think that should be okay. So here’s where I have an issue (or possibly several, rofl). I believe a person can be critical of their chosen entertainment and still enjoy it, but I am not sure how to be that person right now. I don’t want to be a bitter old fan. I want to enjoy this ride. I want to enjoy Star Wars firsts with my spouse and new friends, and I want to enjoy Star Wars fifths, sixths and one hundredths with my old friends.

I’m not remotely sure how to reconcile these things. One thing that comes to mind quickly: I need to curate what I intake. While I’m interested in thoughtful discussion, I’m not interested in bashing or drama.

I suppose all this is a step. Being able to articulate any of it. Maybe I’ll have this halfway figured out by the time I see TLJ, lol.

I don't know if anyone else is like this, but I'm awful at taking stock of myself. It usually requires some outside force bringing details to my attention. So, note to me: that's something to work on.

But I've been trying to wrap up one last treat for the Star Wars Rare Pairs Exchange (since Sunday morning), and I've just been struggling and dragging. Anyhow. A friend helped me realized that on my own scale I've written a lot. More than I usually do without a post-posting break. So that's pretty awesome to realize. I feel less discouraged about dragging through this last piece.

I hope to finish up either late tonight or tomorrow, then I can just turn off that part of my brain and enjoy the holiday weekend before the works are revealed.

It occurred to me recently that while I have a Tumblr account that I essentially made for my AO3 account I've only really blogged a link to one fic. Yes, the direct links are kind of ugly (a convenient excuse) and I've reblogged posts from AO3 feeds, and I've snuck links into text posts, but I've never really been like "Hey, I wrote this thing, take a look!" It can't be a coincidence that that one fic was a pedestrian pairing.

I made the account for two reasons: to interact with authors that I enjoy and in hopes of finding someone interested in what I'm putting out there. Which, I can't do if I don't actually put it out there.

What the heck am I scared of? Like, I know the purity police are a factor, but that's such a nebulous thing to be afraid of. Do I really care if some person I don't know, and will probably never meet thinks I'm gross and disgusting. That wouldn't be/isn't fun, but in the long run, I KNOW that's not important.

It would suck to have someone take the time to tell me they don't like my writing for whatever reason, but that wouldn't really be the end of the world either. Painful and unpleasant, but it wouldn't kill me.

So what is it? Process please, brain.