NotebookishType

Since the Rare Pairs Exchange wound down I’ve been doing a lot of thinking. And as TLJ gets closer a lot of the things keeping me distracted from thinking about it have fallen away.

Star Wars has been much more than a passing fancy for me. Like many others, I was hooked from my first viewing. It’s funny too, knowing there are people that have been in this fandom just as long, or longer, or who also entered in the same stage of their lives, doesn’t exactly make me feel better? On the one hand, I feel like I have company, but on the other, I have to face that my feelings about Disney Canon are mine alone. And alone isn’t how you want to feel when you’re having a rough time.

My feelings on Disney Canon are so complicated. I guess I should try to unpack that.

I was always an avid reader, so when I found out there were Star Wars novels I devoured them. Most of them. I at least attempted all of them. It was so cool to me that almost immediately after seeing these films I could dive into years worth of content. Some of these books had comic adaptations, trading cards, video games. My experience of Star Wars opened up very quickly into more than just films, and we’re still talking pre-Prequels here. Suffice it to say Legends was always a big part of Star Wars to me. It still is.

So when Disney obtained Star Wars, well that was equal parts thrilling and terrifying. I learned very quickly that while I was surrounded by Star Wars fans at work, we all had very different opinions on what the right way to handle more Star Wars films would be. I was firmly in favor of the baton pass but was so naive I couldn’t believe that would come with the figurative or literal deaths of my heroes.

So, back around to this thinking. Obviously, there is no one cookie cutter fan. And I think that’s a good thing. I don’t think I have to personally like every creative choice made in the Disney canon. In fact, I would be surprised if I did. I didn’t like every creative choice made in Legends canon. And I think that should be okay. So here’s where I have an issue (or possibly several, rofl). I believe a person can be critical of their chosen entertainment and still enjoy it, but I am not sure how to be that person right now. I don’t want to be a bitter old fan. I want to enjoy this ride. I want to enjoy Star Wars firsts with my spouse and new friends, and I want to enjoy Star Wars fifths, sixths and one hundredths with my old friends.

I’m not remotely sure how to reconcile these things. One thing that comes to mind quickly: I need to curate what I intake. While I’m interested in thoughtful discussion, I’m not interested in bashing or drama.

I suppose all this is a step. Being able to articulate any of it. Maybe I’ll have this halfway figured out by the time I see TLJ, lol.