Successfully participating in Star Wars Rare Pairs and Chocolate Box has been a big deal for me, for a few reasons.

My Rare Pairs entry was the first piece I worked on after discovering I likely have un-diagnosed ADHD. This explains SO much about my writing history and hurdles.

I tried to participate in Chocolate Box Round 5, but had a very hard time with time management and ultimately had to default. I had a hard time with time management for these last two stories too, but having an idea of why was a measurable difference.

I did go into both assignments with the intent to include smut, but found I'm having a bit of trouble getting into the zone on that. My best guess is that my pandemic living situation is to thank for that. So on the one hand, it won't be forever, on the other hand it's a bummer because most things I plot out are smutty, including countless partial drafts I have tucked away.

Given the above, I am trying to decide if I should sign up for May the 4th or just hope to sprinkle some treats around...

I'm currently taking a Creative Writing class, and I'm trying to sort out an experience I had.

The first half of the class was poetry focused. Poetry was stressful for me as I've only ever done it for a grade. I find it difficult and not that enjoyable, in general. So, of course, for our poetry workshop, I ended up with a poem that was well received. I got notes that it was "chilling," "powerful," "strong," etc.

So that's cool, I suppose. It doesn't surprise me, not because I think I'm some great writer, but because I told a very personal story that has haunted me since the moment it happened in 1999. I guess I feel a bit discouraged... Like, I'm at a loss for how I could ever make someone feel a fraction of that in a fictional piece. Maybe that's something that will come with more time and practice or will require comparable fictional content...